Blame the victim? Are you a Penn State alumni or something?

There's no "victim" here. Just a closeted gay boy who changed his mind.

"It is certainly not reflective of the type of person I am, my lifestyle, my management style or my faith or beliefs,"

Surprise surprise - a closeted religious homosexual. Who would have figured.

Why are all the men turning queer these days?

Why are all the men turning queer these days?

No more than usual - such things just didn't make it into the news like they do now.

No more than usual - such things just didn't make it into the news like they do now.

Are you sure?

I'm not doubting you, but....

"More in the news" is a response I hear a lot, and I know it's not always true. I grew up in the 50s, and it definitely was a VERY different world, and not just because we didn't have 24/7 news.

The men just don't seem very... masculine. Even the heterosexual ones seem like big 12 year olds. Come to think of it, the women don't seem very feminine, either. Sexy, in a brassy in-your-face kind of way, but not feminine. Doubt that today's man would respond to femininity in any case.

Tell me I'm just getting old, but people seem to be evolving into something... androgynous.

Reminds me somehow of two children. One who is getting into mischief and the other yelling "I'm telling"!

Hmmm….looks like he wanted some bootyhole. What is it with these university types? Always wanting to do boys in the butt.

Pocket Pool is fine, 'cept when its one's hand in someone else's pocket. Gay or not, drunk or not you don't play doctor and ask someone to turn and cough if they are a student and you are a coach. I give 4 and 7 odds that more will come out to say he did the same to them. Any takers?

Rw...you're reply just made me flash back to high school some 35 years ago when we had to have our physicals for Spring Sports. The doctor was a pretty creepy looking "nerdy" guy. I still remember sitting in the health room when he asked what else was on the schedule that day, and the nurse replied that he still had to do the girls' lacrosse teams. The perv actually grinned and raised his eyebrows, like "Awriiiiiight." I've never forgotten that to this day.

Dude, you're hot!

its the way the system its self has evolved. now when i was 18 in the military i had a perv try something with me, and he wasnt touching anything for a good 3-6 months while his hand was healing, and might have had 2nd thoughts for a while after. That was in 84'. if this incident happend as it did today i would be looking at years in prison.

you dont dare defend yourself, you call the police to do that, lol. or mommy, take your pick.

Wow, straight for the crotch without offering a movie and dinner first? No wonder the victim is pissed.

Beating someone up for hitting on you is real tough and macho eh bud? We have the police and a system of laws to keep over testroned neanderthals like you in check. Accourding to your way of thinking anytime you hit on a woman in a bar she has the right to punch you in the face if your advances are not wanted. You also seem to think that calling the police is some sort of wimpy response when in fact IT IS THE LAW. Dont like the laws in America then get out, I am thinking it will be a better place without you. By the way you are a vet so you should be proud that YOU served to uphold these laws. thanks...

Mike N~

You cracked me up with the whole "knock knock" joke!!!! Hahahah! "My hands, they're on your balls"!! Hilarious!

I felt the same way! I know it takes me several seconds to remove a belt, especially on another person, so then the dude's hand goes south, starts rolling the marbles, THEN the guy has an issue???? If this guy didn't want it JUST A LITTLE, he would have stopped it at the first touch of the belt. I'm sensing some mixed signals were being transmitted seconds before the gropage.

Hey, want to stay with me and drink some more?

Dan-629304Beating someone up for hitting on you is real tough and macho eh bud? We have the police and a system of laws to keep over testroned neanderthals like you in check. Accourding to your way of thinking anytime you hit on a woman in a bar she has the right to punch you in the face if your advances are not wanted. You also seem to think that calling the police is some sort of wimpy response when in fact IT IS THE LAW. Dont like the laws in America then get out, I am thinking it will be a better place without you. By the way you are a vet so you should be proud that YOU served to uphold these laws. thanks...

Big difference between a little flirting and a feeling up. If some guy went up to some woman in a bar and started fondling her breasts, she would be well within her right to respon violently, although, its more likely she would have the bouncer respond violently for her, also well within the right...

its based on the bar. Some bars you walk up and fondle a woman's breasts she'll be making sure you put more than a dollar in her G-string.

Also, a lot of Doctors are creepy. I still don't understand why i needed a prostate exam at the dentist's office, and why the hell was both his hands on my shoulders?

RwEvans that wasn't the drill you heard either.

Ugh, this has got to be the worst reporting I have ever seen. If anyone takes the time to read the report released by the school, it states that the kid was an employee of the athletic department and once the kid slapped the athletic director’s hand away, he stated” that, “I could have you fired”. That’s a huge part of the story to have been omitted. The guy had a position of power over the student and used that position to threaten him once the student rebuffed his advances. NBC, how could you miss that part of the story?!? Shame on you!

Nortre Dame, huh? They weren't on a plane.

Just train stupid!

Whether planes, trains, or automobiles; the more he drinks, the gayer he feels!

and he was "saddened by the report" i guess so, hes out of a job and the closet

And going behind bars where his erg will be satisfied

Sounds like two gay drunks and one got caught with his pants down.

And that makes it ok? So in your view being "gay" invites this type of behavior? You two seem to be projecting.

So if you're having drinks with a girl you can put your hands down her pants because she is straight and drunk by that logic right? Wether your sexual orientation it doesn't mean you can be assaulted or raped and it be ok because you were drinking.

I agree.

I think the kid knew what was up from the moment the Athletic Director asked him to “stay here with me and have a drink” after everyone else was leaving out of the suite.

To say nothing of him actually getting as far as taking off the kid’s belt, unzipping his pants, sliding his hand down inside his drawers and feeling on his rod.

By then if you don’t know what’s happening you’re in a coma. Too late to start slapping hands and acting all innocent and outraged. Anytime you let another man take your belt off and undo your pants and stick his hand inside your drawers, you want it… and you KNOW you want it.

Sounds like the kid just changed his mind about giving up the ass to “Coach” that night.

Did you really just say "you want it and you know it"???? If he hasn't already anybody want to take bets when Unintentional Mayhem will be convicted of date rape?

seems like the biggest concern is whether the coach had some kind of authority to exploit or not. if the student was over 18, what makes this situation not "consenting adults" where one changed his mind? to remove a belt requires mutual coordination, so there was at least some degree of consent. happens all the time in straight relations, and as long as no coercion was attempted after the "change of mind" no harm/no foul. for example your date says, you know, "tonight is not a good night, i'm going to stop" and goes home.

so what remains is did the athletic department relationship between these two involve some power or status advantage the coach exploited. if so, throw the book at him.

if not, to out the coach when your behavior was aboout as responsible is rather disingenuous and needlessly destructive. seems like the young man may have been surprised and embarrassed he let it go that far and decided to make it the coaches problem.

all you need to do is agree to leave each other alone in the future just like anyone else who has had a disagreement.

If I read the article there were other people in the room still maybe he didn't like to be exposed!

In the quest for ratings, MSNBC, by oversensationalizing this story, diminishes more serious issues like the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State.

In a quest for ratings all media outlets continue to 'out' university athletic programs (Penn St, Syracuse, Wisconsin) that demonstrate a pattern of sexual abuse. There will be more stories like this and I wouldn't be surprised if they start including high schools and professional athletic teams as well.

"I make no excuses and have come to the realization that over the past few months, alcohol had controlled and consumed my life," Chadima said. "I am taking steps to correct that problem in my life at this time. I will take full responsibility for my lack of judgment and actions that evening."

"In the future, I will only dive into some dudes pants when stone cold sober."

Rick----you doth protest to much!!!

anything you want to tell us??

Exactly. Why don't women do the same when they are sexually assaulted?

why didn't he just punch him??

maybe he learned something at college!!! and is now one of the more evolved species among us.

as for the older guy, and as with most people 'alcohol just makes you so much more intelligent. and attractive. so have another drink.

seems most people don't know when enough is enough.

Women have been known to grab and touch men inappropriately too. The fact that you're a mother of sons doesn't change that.

I have never been crabbed before...how does that go Diana? Maybe you should see a doctor.

I got crabbed in that area once. I still have the comb.

So fools like you can say foolish stuff.

better yet, why not just tell the guy you are not interested, leave the place and go on with your life?

and do that BEFORE you let him take off your belt and slip his hands down your pants.

and do that BEFORE you let him take off your belt and slip his hands down your pants.

Thank you!

If any of that happened this man would not have had a chance to embrace his faith.

It doesn't matter if you are a man or women... Stop it quick, stop it early, and DON't stay for drinks in anyone's motel room alone... What makes this NOT news is that the brakes were not applied when the belt was removed. That is the same as asking "Can I play with you?"

T s really wee wee I know this is a community site, but you must be a Vikings fan.

T's:

''isn't this about 2 adult men?"

if you have to ask i guess you missed most of the past decade in the usa.

it is not about 2 adult men! it is about someone is a higher authority exerting himself over one of much lower authority.

and since when did it become ok to mess with someone psyche by sexually assaulting them?

maybe it is ok in your world, but it isn't in the 'adult' world to which you obviously don't belong.

by speaking out perhaps it will become known if this creepy coach(?) has been doing it to others!

EVERY CRIME SHOULD BE REPORTED. EVERY CRIME. EVERY TIME.

I agree.....whatever happened to the days of you make a pass, you get rejected and then life goes on?

These days, you make a pass, you get rejected (?), and then you resign from your job and are publically humiliated.

This was more than a pass, this was going for a touchdown.

hey, it was late in the game and needed a touchdown for the win....he threw a hail mary.

point is.....so what? you reject the come on and you leave. end of story. AND please, reject the come on BEFORE you let the guy take your belt off and stick his hands down your pants. sheesh.

Maybe he thought he get called for pass interference!

It is common knowledge that men that fondle minors (pedophiles) have no interest in grown men. Not so wise, old man.

"If this pervert will do this to an adult male he would do it to a minor too."

He's a pervert because his sexual orientation differs from your own? And naturally, he's prowling the streets looking for little boys to infect with his "disease", as well, because he had a few drinks with another consenting adult.

Your generalization belies your moniker, old man. Do you also still believe we should keep our table legs covered to keep us men, especially those darned coloreds, from going into a sexual frenzy at the sight of their bare, wooden glory?

Good grief!

You're WA-A-AY over reacting to this, jmw. If a MAN did the exact same thing to a woman under the same circumstances, more than a few people would claim he's not only a pervert. Then when his trial came up, he would be up on charges for sexual assault. He'd most certainly have to take court-ordered counciling for "sick" tendencies, and he would have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. If you choose to think that the first poster was implying "pervert" because of sexual orientation, well -- it must be more or less where YOUR thoughts or because I just don't get it.

Wise Old Man, I suspect you've been grabbing yourself much more than you're letting on.

I believe you're being unnecessarily glib, jbird. As we aren't privy to the details of the actual event as it happened, none of us actually know what happened in that room. I'm in full agreement that a sexual assault happened there, just as it does multiple times every single day around the world. It was a stupid, irresponsible move on the part of both men. They are adults, after all. The question here is if the offense was heinous enough to warrant the attention it's receiving.

When two people who work together socialize outside the normal working environment, things like this happen. Ever been to an office party? I was groped at one by a drunk supervisor, rebuffed the advances, received an apology and continued to work with her for two years after that with no problems. Is she a pervert? Does she need to be on the sex offender registry? Are the rules different for homosexual assaults or women assaulting men? It was inappropriate, yes, but since it didn't jeopardize my position, it stopped immediately and I happen to be capable of reason and compassion, I felt no need to make an embarrassing situation even more embarrassing.

Again, the devil is in the details... just like in your assumption of my thoughts. Case in point: the synonyms of the verb pervert. Corrupt, misdirect, misuse, misinterpret... Oh my! It seems we're all guilty of that in this very thread. I'm sure you'll be rushing down to register right away. I know I will.

So a gay man can't be a good athlete? Now I understand why it took so long to allow gays to be open in the military. Bigotry is bigotry, no matter what it's form.

Pedophiles are people who are attracted to MINORS. This was a college kid. Gay moron, yes. Pedophilia, not so much.

What makes this news is a growing pattern of sexual abuse by figures of authority in college athletic programs.

LOL!!

What? The coach should have had his ass kicked by the student. Are you a fan of randomly touching people when you are drunk? Nevermind, you've already answered that question with you comment.

Actually, I think the Athletic Director was thinking more that the kid needed his ass “licked” rather then “kicked.” Just sayin…

I here if you get em drunk enough you don't have to take em to dinner! If you put the right pill in their drink they won't even know what you're doing! Now you just got the PIGS lesson!

I agree. Not only that, but you CAN'T slap someone's hand away if that hand is down your pants! If you waited that long to react, your action would be to grab his arm and pull it out of your pants, then push him away. Something is not adding up here.

Not blaming the victim, just saying there's something fishy about the story.

julie, perhaps you just have more experience with men grabbing your nether regions than this young man has had.

obviously!

Uh..thanks for the lesson on where to meet people. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Don't you have a pillow to fluff?

Mike N ~~ To a degree, I understand the basic idea of what you are trying to say. HOWEVER, coaches (or Marines, teachers, clergy, or athletes) who are gay, are not interested in 'boys'. You have gay confused with pedophiles and sexual deviates. The two are completely different. Gay men are interested in other gay men. This particular incident with the student, is what I consider an assault. The young athlete didn't invite such an act, and even if he is gay, it doesn't give the coach grounds to fondle him. This coach may have some very deep seated emotional issues, and after he gets out of jail (hopefully he'll be given some jail time), I really hope that he get some psychological help. Being drunk IS NEVER AN EXCUSE for such behavior.

When you speak of gays taking up particular fields of employment, in order to be around other men, is somewhat of a mis-conception on your part. I think your 'assumption' is actually wrong. Ideally, gay men would prefer to be "isolated" as you put it, in a room full of other gay men, rather than a room full of macho Marines who are homophobic and would just as soon kick their @s$ as to look at them.

@Mike N-366459: Your argument holds true for "male sexual predators" of women.

Reni, I haven't confused anything. Apparently you did. I have said absolutely nothing equating homosexuality with pedophilia and do not think homosexual people are any more inclined towards that than heterosexual people, so please watch what charges you are throwing around.

The "kid" in this case isn't a child. He's partying at event with adults, so he's probably 19 to 21 years old - a legal adult and certainly not a prepubescent child by any measure. So the Admin guy didn't commit any pedophillic (?) acts on anyone, but he's still a closeted case that shouldn't be messing with students anymore than a boss should be messing with an employee. My post simply states that men who prefer sexual contact with men also likely prefer the "company" of men, so its not surprising they would gravitate to fields and environments that are heavily dominated by men.

And Reni...you just stereotyped Marines. I have a family member who retired from the Marines. He was well aware of the existence of homosexual marines and the cruising they would do off-base. Much like the don't ask, don't tell, the general command attitude was don't get caught. Out of a sense of honor I would hope that no Marine would kick any gay civilians ass just because of their sexual proclivity. There's probably not a huge disparity of homosexual frequency in any given profession from the ratio of them in society as a whole.

Funny Ken. I design lighting systems, control systems, space plan, structure, and I have a license. I don't do pillow fluffing and staging and that frou frou stuff. But thanks for playing. Need any light in that closet you're hiding in?

Not all, Paula ... just the ones making idiotic comments and exhibiting idiotic behavior.

Only cynical women think all men are idiots Paula

Paula, it's not that all men are idiots, we are merely doomed to fail - going all the way back to Adam. It is getting harder and harder to be a true man these days, as gender definition is becoming more vague. It is our responsibility as men to use have sound moral judgement, exercise that judgement and to be accountable for our actions when we don't. It sounds like this man is attempting to be accountable, but the capability to perform deeds as he did is inside all men and we ALL need to be aware of it.

"Gender definition is becoming more vague"?

Male = external reproductive organs / Female = internal reproductive organs.

That's the only trait that precisely defines it. I didn't think that was an issue for debate anymore. I do know what you meant by it and I don't mean to diminish your point, as it is a valid one. I just think that which set of genitalia one possesses has zero bearing on personal responsibility and moral justice.

The same goes for Paula's question. We're all flawed; we're egocentric, yet social; proud, yet insecure; faithful, yet curious. The sex of the person from whom they manifest themselves has little bearing on that.

But yeah... we're mostly idiots, Paula.

Haha I agree. I think the water does taste a lil funny now but I also have to wonder what is going on with the men these days. Why are the coaches sexually assaulting their players. What happened to actually being a mentor and looking after people without having another agenda in mind?

I think what is notable is that these stories are usually of married, church-going men. They are probably gay their whole lives but are trying to deny their true nature by living to "fit in the societal norms" due to various reasons.